Limiting oneself

The obvious point that perhaps the word neurotic means the condition of being highly conscious and developed. The essence of neurosis is conflict. But the essence of living now, fully, not blocking off what goes on, is conflict. In fact I 've reached the stage where I look at people and say - he or she, they are whole at all because they 've chosen to block off at this stage or that. People stay sane by blocking off, by limiting themselves.

Doris Lessing
The Golden Notebook

Paralysis of the Will

Her life was shaped around a man who would not return to her. She must liberate herself. This was an intellectual decision, unbacked by moral energy. She was listless and flat. It was as if P. had taken with him, not only all her capacity for joy, but also her will. She said she would go to Paris, like a bad patient agreeing at last to take medicine, but insisting to the doctor that: 'Of course it won't do me any good.'

Doris Lessing
The Golden Notebook

The ordinary things

"It's a different kind of sensibility. Don't you see? In a day when I buy food and cook it and look after Janet and work, there's a flash of madness - when I write it down it looks dramatic and awful. It's just because I write it down. But the real things that happened in that day were the ordinary things."


Doris Lessing
The Golden Notebook

Second Rate

"It's not a terrible thing - I mean, it may be terrible, but it's not damaging, it's not poisoning, to do without something one wants. It's not bad to say: My work is not what I really want, I'm capable of doing something bigger. Or I'm a person who needs love, and I'm doing without it. What's terrible is to pretend that the second-rate is first-rate. To pretend that you don't need love when you do; or you like your work when you know quite well you're capable of better. It would be very bad if I said, out of guilt or something: I loved Janet's father, when I know quite well I didn't..."

Doris Lessing
The Golden Notebook

Professionally pretty girls

Very many as it were professionally pretty girls have this gift of allowing themselves to be touched, kissed, held, as if this is a fee they have to pay to Providence for being born beautiful. There is a tolerant smile which goes with a submission to the hands of men, like a yawn or a patient sigh.

Doris Lessing

The Golden Notebook